Para's Ponderings

I woke up in incredible pain and an awful taste in my mouth, and suddenly I felt 14 again.

I looked around, no one to blame other than myself.

Who have I become in these past 10 years?

What could possibly drive me to get myself into the situations I used to run away from.

I thought I had it all figured out at 14, but then decided that I deserved better. I now know that wasn’t true. And I deserved every bit of what I got. I know now that it was my purpose. What I was built for, and all I will ever be useful for.

It’s just the way these things go. Some people are good enough to love, others are only good enough to use, and that’s me.

All I ever wanted was to be loved, but I can’t be delusional forever.

None of them ever loved me, and none of them ever will. Who could ever love me? I’m just a thing. I don’t even feel real.