Para's Ponderings

Is it normal to act like you like someone and then ignore their existence for days?

Is it normal to postpone every plan you make, claiming that you got busy?

Am I just too obsessive to understand how most people operate?

If I make plans, I am sticking to them no matter what… And if I like a person, the thought of not responding to them at any point would probably make me cry.

It’s irrational to expect everyone to be like me, but it sure would be helpful.

I’ve always felt that things are so much easier when people are entirely honest and open about their feelings and intentions. Leaving people guessing is pitiful.

I hate that I care so deeply. I want nothing more for this to mean nothing to be but I can’t control it, and it’s too deep for me to get out of.

It appears that I am always drawn to people that make me suffer, I just never know it at the time.

While you’re busy/ignoring me – I’m obsessing over every word you’ve said and building you up in my mind, where the closest word I could use to describe you is “godly” You become all I think about, and all I could imagine thinking about.

This cycle repeats. Month after month, person after person.. Never ending, never slowing down. Some last for weeks, others for years.

This time it’s been around 2 weeks, and I am locked-in beyond belief. I don’t know what I will do if I don’t ever get that response, or confirmation that anything I was told was true. I’ve been driving myself crazy the past couple of days.

I’m hoping for a positive turn but I can’t see it happening. This is torture.