Para's Ponderings

Something that almost nobody knows about me is that I am a writer. Or, at least, I was.

I haven’t had inspiration in many years.

The last time I completed a full project would’ve been around 10 years ago.

I had this amazing outline, and knew exactly what I needed the ending to be. I came up with the ending first. I knew that I had this perfect story I needed to tell.

I changed the ending half-way through.

I abandoned the perfect ending to have my main character commit suicide. Somewhere along the way, I began seeing the character as an extension of myself, and when I was falling apart, so was she.

I had this story that was hopeful, and loving, and exploring all these emotions I had just experienced for the first time. I abandoned it all together – because I no longer believed in the idea. How can this perfect story exist when it’s not realistic?

I never thought I’d find inspiration again.

–

I started writing again. I found that inspiration I thought I would never find again. 10 years after giving up, I’m back.

My characters are no longer an extension of myself. They are unique, and fulfilled. They’ll be living in a reality that I’ve missed my opportunity to explore – but they’re perfect to me.

My writing has always been themed around one key idea, even before I understood it.

Sometimes there’s an idea that’s so perfect that it restores your belief.

I’m so inspired.