Para's Ponderings

It’s just another one of those days.

I want to peel my skin off, shave my hair and run off into the void.

Have I really been the one sabotaging myself this entire time?

Have the actions I’ve taken to make myself seem tolerable had the opposite effect?

Would I genuinely have been better off if I never changed a thing?

Would people like me more if I kept my hair dark and removed all my body modifications?

Would people like me more if I just said whatever I was thinking without worrying about how it would land?

Today has been eye-opening.

I am the reason I’m so miserable in life.

I am the reason my life feels so empty.

I am the reason I will never know what love feels like.

It’s always been me.

I don’t know who I am behind all the metal and artificial colours.

That person is dead. But she may have been the only variation of me that people would’ve wanted to know.