Para's Ponderings

I can’t tell you that I’ve spent countless hours imagining a future with you that doesn’t exist.

I can’t tell you that these feelings have deepened since I last mentioned them.

There’s a lot I can’t tell you, a lot I can’t explain. I used to always know the right things to say, but now my words have meaning.

I can’t admit to myself that I’m feeling things I cannot comprehend.

I can’t admit to myself that I’m drawn to the wreckage of something I know will never work.

I can’t admit to myself that I care. I care so deeply. I care about this more than anything I’ve ever encountered.

I can’t explain why time moves so slowly.

I can’t explain why I feel so warm, even when it’s freezing cold

I can’t explain the instant boost I get when I see that you’ve messaged me.

I can’t explain anything.

But I know one thing, and it’s that I think I finally found the answer to the question I’ve been asking for over ten years.